The Taiwan Times

It's been a while, hasn't it? I keep forgetting I have a blog. My mom remembers though, and if I don't update for a while she becomes upset... and an upset mother equals a frugal mother equals a sad and broke exchange student.

Just kidding. For the record, as of right now I haven't written home for spending money once. So there.

Anyway, enjoy this (very) edited list of what I did the past few weeks.

In food news...


My school sells chocolate and strawberry sandwiches during breakfast.

Chocolate and strawberry sandwiches. Three of my favorite things, all in one.

My life is complete.

I went to a "hot pots" restaurant a couple of times last week, which is basically a buffet except you can cook some of the food yourself. You just pick what you want, drop it in your personal cooking pot, wait a minute, and eat. They also had the only American-style ice cream I've encountered so far (needless to say you don't put that in the pot before eating) and I put away about six or seven scoops of it.

Two weekends ago, my friends and I went to Taipei. We ate lunch at this Italian restaurant, and guess what they had?

FREAKING MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!!

My life is even more complete. Taipei also has a Pizza Hut buffet, which I got way too excited about. And the night market food is varied and delicious, so I almost always eat something new when I go out. By now I can usually tell what's going to be good and what's going to be icky, so I tend to eat more (and my host aunt still says I don't eat enough). I avoid anything with tofu and spices (still not a fan of spicy here, never have been) and go for things with fruit, bread, chicken, etc. It's still a bit of a risk but I'm getting good at it.

By the way, I now like McDonald's. Seriously? The American doesn't like McDonald's in America, but she goes to Taiwan and becomes a stereotype? Something is very wrong. I still don't like french fries though, so maybe the world isn't ending just yet.

In the Bug Wars...


Never tickle a sleeping dragon. Especially if you are an ant, and the dragon is a cranky human armed with sticky vanilla body spray.

It went something like this: the dragon Abby, while sleeping peacefully on her pile of treasure, awoke to find a single ant sneaking suspiciously across her mound of gold. We will call this scout Bilbo the ant. Bilbo, having been dared by his friends to enter the chamber of the dragon in search of treasure, was immediately insulted with an impressive collection of Chinese, English, and French swear words, then incapacitated by the deadly vanilla-scented breath of the very grumpy dragon.

The dragon, having seen one intruder already, suspected that more tiny little thieves were lurking nearby. Bilbo's greedy little companions were found in a tight little group by the wall, scurrying around and looking scared. Perhaps they heard Bilbo's screams of agony as he was being insulted and murdered. But don't worry - they won't be missing Bilbo anymore. They can all say hello to Saint Peter together - or whoever has his job, but in hell. Goodbye Thorin, Dori, Nori, etc....

Feel free to roll your eyes at my nerdy Lord of the Rings analogies at any time.

So remember that spider who lives under the floor in my shower room? Turns out it's just a big phony. Sure, it looks big and scary, but really it's about as dangerous as a kitten. Maybe even less, because angry kittens can be hazardous (*cough* *cough* Ginger *cough*). The spider won't bite me, and even if it wanted to its bite isn't poisonous to humans. Since being ugly is not a crime, I have no real excuse to kill it. So, there is only one thing left to do: name it!

I don't know what it is about giving things names, but it automatically makes them less creepy and/or annoying than before. So now, my shower is home to Gladys the spider. I thought about naming it Shelob, but that seemed counterproductive.

Speaking of spiders, I went hiking with my host dad and saw a giant golden orb-weaver spider. They're pretty, but I'm not going near them because they do bite. They won't land you in the hospital, but still... AVOID.


In Recent Excursions...


Hmmm, let's just make this a list.

1. Taipei zoo! I freaking love the zoo. I go crazy over animals (with the exception of most things that have more than four legs). For once I took tons of pictures, and so did my friends, so I'll share some of the more interesting ones. Several of the animals were asleep, but others would obligingly pose (or fight) for pictures.

Silly penguin

Zzzzzzz...........

Staring contest with an elephant.

Lurking... we all got chills when we spotted him under there.
He's just waiting for a tourist to fall in the water so he can
have a snack.

Cat fight! Reminded me of Ginger and Jade. I don't know what
it was about; they were on opposite sides of the cage and then
suddenly they were together in the middle and going at it.

Lastly,  please enjoy these colorful mounds of poop.

2. Taipei night markets. Yes - the food is delicious, the wares are unique, and the people stare at me less than usual. But what really gets me is - you guessed it - the clothes.

Can I control my consumerist whims? Of course. Do I want to? I don't see why I would. Shopping is quick and unbelievably cheap. Quick, because no one tries on clothes before buying and many are one size fits most. Cheap, because... well I don't know why, but I don't care so long as it stays cheap. Of course, there is some risk involved, because you can't know exactly what something will look like without trying it on. But most of the clothes are made for someone about my size (like many Taiwanese girls are) so with a little bit of visualization I can usually tell. I haven't made any mistakes yet, but if I do it's no big deal because most single pieces of clothing cost less than ten US dollars. Mom, you can thank the cheapness of the night markets for the fact that I haven't asked for more spending money yet.

3. Other places in Taipei. The vagueness is on purpose. Let's just say that Taipei is the place to go if you want to have some... fun.

Actually, that's been pretty much it the past couple of weeks: school during the week, Taipei on the weekends. I see further adventures in the near future though... constant three day weekends make having adventures easy.

In What I Learned Recently...


Disclaimer: I'm not putting everything I learned on my blog.

Disclaimer #2: I enjoy being vague. Humor me, because there are actually some practical reasons for ambiguity.

1. I keep getting things I used to wish for when I was a kid but have long since given up on. Maybe I don't really have them - I just get to borrow them for a while. But it's like I get a chance to experience something I never felt I had before, just so I can know it exists. I will treasure that forever - and who knows? Maybe I'll bring a little bit of it back to the United States with me.

See what I mean about being ambiguous? It's like a riddle, isn't it? Oh, I just love confusing people. Assuming anyone even reads this. :S

Moving on.

2. I'm dreaming. Really, I feel like being here is one long lucid dream. I even treat it that way sometimes, to assure that when I wake up back in the United States I will remember it as a good and exciting one. It's like a break from school, a break from boredom, a break from everything. As an exchange student, school is beyond easy, boredom is easily curable, and everything else is good so long as you want it to be. The fact that it is finite just makes it that much more exciting, because I only have so much time to do everything I want to do before I have to get back to work. I have the feeling that the college workload is going to hit me like a semi, but I'm trying not to think about that yet.

3. I should be living like this in the United States. Why am I only now squeezing as much fun as possible out of every day? Why am I only now taking risks and reaping the benefits? Just because the clock (presumably) has more time on it back home doesn't mean it isn't there... and I know I don't want it to catch up with me before I'm ready.

4. Constantly analyzing people and the motivations for their actions, though it comes naturally to me, isn't something I've really put to use... until now. And I really wish I'd discovered this earlier, because now I know how to counter-manipulate people. Meaning, of course, that if someone tries to play me I can recognize what they're doing and make sure it doesn't work. Naturally, manipulating innocent people is not very nice, but if they're asking for it... I can adapt to their actions, let's just say.

5. Lastly, I had a little thought today. It's maybe somewhat strange, but I want to share.

I feel like I'm mountain climbing. As I go higher, I perceive more. The picture gets bigger, patterns emerge and become more obvious, and puzzle pieces start to fit together. It seems ludicrous to me that some people stay on the ground and never even try to climb up, and it seems equally strange that they choose to see so little of the world around them. It's easy to forget what it felt like before I climbed the mountain, even though I know I wasn't always headed upward. Certain worldviews, certain ways of thinking that I was surrounded by in the United States, seem even more unbelievably, mind-blowingly ignorant now than they did to me then. I think it's because I've been away from it for so long, so now I'm thinking, "Wait - people still actually do that? People still believe that? Aren't we past this by now?"

But I can't talk about it to those people. I can never talk about it, because I'm on the mountain, too far away for them to hear anyway. All I can do - and from now on, all I will do - is climb the mountain, and quietly hope some people will wonder what I'm doing up there and come see. I'm not going to drag anyone up here if they don't want to come. All that will do is make them run further back down, and waste time for both of us. Instead, I climb steadily and happily, sometimes with companions and sometimes alone, willing to give what help I can to those who want it and willing to leave in peace those who do not.

I know I'm not at the top yet. I can feel the clouds above my head, blocking parts of the mountain from view, and they will bother me until I rise above them. I know I'm still missing something. I know there are probably people looking down at me from higher up the mountain. But at least I'm climbing, and if all goes well I have years and years to make my journey.

I'm not just talking about exchange anymore. It's about exchange, and world travel, but it's also intellectual, spiritual, and whatever other interpretation you want to give it. This isn't the first time I've felt this way, but it's the first time I've really taken the time to think about it. There's a lot of time for thinking when you're sitting in class not understanding anything that's happening.

Hmmm, I know there's more, but that's all that comes to the top of my head right now. Next!


In Other Random News...


At school some guy I don't know told me he loved me, in English.

The word "Facebook" sounds very similar the Chinese phrase "You must die," (Fēi sǐ bùkě) especially if said slowly. The other day must have been a slow news day because there was a story on it.

I no longer have class on Fridays. I literally just asked my counselor if it was okay, he said yes, and now I can sleep in. It was that easy. So now, as my host dad put it, my friends and I can go do bad things together. >:D

The you-know-whos are after me again, worse than in America, and I find the irony almost unbearable. (Who are the you-know-whos? You know who. And if you don't, it wouldn't be funny, so don't worry about it! :P) The good part is, I can laugh about it, and I've learned to let them down easy without being cynical anymore.

My self-esteem is thriving. People literally stop me on the street and tell me how beautiful they think I am. Yeah, yeah - I know they mostly just notice me because I'm the only white person for miles, but let a girl be flattered. People are constantly staring at me, especially in Jaoxi, and sometimes they will literally turned their heads to look behind them while driving because I happen to be walking behind their car (or motorcycle). My bestie Kaitlin and I have a joke about how some girls turn heads, but we're the ones who break necks. That may just turn out to be the case, because every day I almost cause a car accident.

The other day I had to explain to my confused classmates the subtle differences in pronunciation between the words "taxis," "taxes," and "Texas." O.O

Taiwan has been overrun by 7-11 convenience stores. I swear, sometimes I feel like there's one on every block. It's convenient, sure, but also a little scary. Taiwanese love 7-11 like Americans love McDonald's.

That's all folks! Once again, sorry for writing a book... when it rains it pours.